The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
