That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
