Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize