Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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