Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
