Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
