..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
