Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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