i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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