At least make sure they are 18
Why
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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