Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
