bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize