I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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