So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
