The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
