Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize