if only i could text you this smell
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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