My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
