She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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