Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
