i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
