I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
