She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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