Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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