before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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