we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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