You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
