I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
