I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
