Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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