I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
