just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
