i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize