Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
