She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize