We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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