Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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