Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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