i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
