She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
