take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
