White coat. Heels.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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