She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
