Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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