I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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