Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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