Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
