Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize