Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
