At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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