I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
