Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
