Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
