okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
