I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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