I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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