Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
