U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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