I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
