Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
