We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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