Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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