I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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