Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm determined to sit on that face.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
