apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
