I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
