You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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