Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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