i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
