I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
