you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
