Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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