I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
