More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
